Marriage Reflections Continued ...

Earlier, I posted some reflections about some things I have learned so far in marriage. This will be a shorter continuation of that. I realize I wrote kind of a lot on the first set of reflections. Again, these are in no particular order.

5. It is important to pray for your spouse on a regular basis. Pray for his spiritual development, his day-to-day tasks, and his struggles. It's also important to pray together regularly. Pray for each of you to have patience and forgiving hearts. Pray for your finances, big life decisions, and intimacy with one another. Oh ... and an added bonus ... it is more difficult to get angry about a fault your spouse has when you are actively praying together for that particular area in his/her life.

6. Avoid extreme words and exaggeration ("you always" and "you never") when in a disagreement. It's just simply not true that your spouse alllllwwaaays or neeevvveer does something, even if it feels like it!

7. God first. Then marriage. Then kids. In my personal opinion, if parents aren't showing and receiving love, kids have a more difficult time doing so. It's important to continue dating your spouse, even if it means spending $20 extra on a date because you need a babysitter. (You could swap date nights and babysitting with another couple every once and a while, too!) Take time to talk about your interests and your dreams. Be silly ... and romantic!


8. It's important to have married mentors in your life. Our pre-marital counseling was so helpful. We learned how to enter, be in, and leave a disagreement. We learned how to give and receive love from one another. We discussed our finances before having any struggles with how to spend money. Pre-marital counseling is educational and preventative, and I'd urge anyone to participate in it. 

Along the same line, I'd urge married couples to find a mentor couple, to read books on marriage together, and to attend marriage conferences and retreats together. It's important to be actively pursuing Christ's love and peace in your marriage, whether you are struggling or not. Couples don't necessarily have to go to a marriage conference because they are struggling. Many go because they want to continue to make their marriages stronger.

9. The last piece of advice that we've found helpful (and that I have time think of and type about before my 5 month old wakes up) is to fellowship with other Christians independently and together. It is always beneficial to be edified and encouraged by someone you trust.

That's all for now! I wonder what advice I'll add when I read this a few years down the road ...